Teacher: Little Critter, I want you
to spell mouse.
Little Critter: M-O-U-S.
Teacher: But what's on the end?
Little Critter: A tail!
1st thief: Oh the police are here. Quick Jump out of the window
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry this is no time for superstitions.
Son: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Son: Well, where did you get mummy then?
Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask f I can take this
train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Peter: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is
green and one is blue with red spots
Kirk: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the
same at home.
Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
the game went into extra time .
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order. Order"
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor; I'll have a scotch and soda."
or twenty years my husband and I were very happy'
'What happened then?'
Customer: 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get to
Brighton in two days time?'
Post Master: 'Well it might do.'
Customer: I bet you, it won't.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It's addressed to London.
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing
in the field"
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Student: Ladies first.
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Friend 1: Where did you born?
Friend 2: India.
Friend 1: India? Which part?
Friend 2: No, the whole body.