آنآ قصة آنسآن آنآ جرح الزمآن

[Angel Misa]

My bedroom is my sanctuary, my place to be me
The worries of the day melt into the sea
My bed is of logs, the mattress is high
The sheets are flannel, the duvet makes me sigh
My table has come here from grandma's past
I cherish this piece as it was one of her last
The mirror is old but shines like new
When I glance at myself I can see right through
I hear nothing in my room and I like it that way
I crave silence and peace for much of the day
I smell the ocean, I taste it too
The feeling is calming, I've nothing to do

[Angel Misa]

[Angel Misa]

Jag vill vara fri som en fagel
samtidigt som jag vill skydda dig
under mina osynliga vingar

men jag kan inte bara dig
om jag ska fortsatta
pa samma vag

for den ar min
och den har blivit mitt hem
en slags frihetskansla

[Angel Misa]

Hayley
Just like a ghost
I drift through the days
Trying for reason
Thinking of ways

Nothing changes
No matter how many pills I take
Give me numbness
And happiness I will fake

You don't pay attention
You don't even look
You don't glance
I'm an open book

If you listened
You'd see who I really am
You'd know my pain
But turned away you stand

Eating disorders
and cutting deep
Everything is over
nothing to keep

So when I die
You can have the guilt
Pay the price
of the coffin you built

I'm done with tears
And everything more
This is the end
of an open door

[Angel Misa]

I'm sitting here with a lot of thoughts and ideas. Things to write about stuff that i really feel like getting out of me , but I'm too afraid to share with you . These things I write to myself instead, or on misty and frosty glass panes while waiting for the bus somewhere, but it makes me feel so trapped in myself, not like before when I was completely without any barrier could share with you my feelings that others could recognize themselves in. And I do not know if it's good or bad. It's so damn much going on that i barely have time to land. As if life has speedats up to a pace that I have to rush myself to catch up. Not like before when every day was the same. YES you can see well for themselves how confused it sounds
This weekend I was atleast in Gothenburg! Saw two shows ; Panda da Panda and Hakan Hellstrom. Troubled good. Next weekend I'll see Makthaverskan and Hakan again . Wohooo !

2013-12-09

[Angel Misa]

Nobody knows how different I am
The outside of me is not afraid
Not full of pain, or even ashamed
I smile and all of those ignorant fools believe
Of course nothing could be wrong with me
My eyes are dry, I do not shed tears
For that gift was taken away from me dear
I laugh and talk and play along
Keep on existing as if nothings wrong
Nobody knows how different I am
The inside of me is hollow and empty
Do not fret my dear, for I do not want your pity
I'm tattered and broken beyond repair
My heart is crumbling and full of despair
I'm bloodied and beaten and not really living
I just go through the motions and continue existing
I'm scared and lost, clueless as can be
Is there no one out there to help me
Nobody knows how different I am
And that will never change

[Angel Misa]

That's what i need before and after shower

[Angel Misa]

Soft kitty, Warm kitty, Little ball of fur, Happy kitty, Sleepy kitty, Purr purr pur
AND
Misa loves kitty ^w^o

[Angel Misa]

why do you say that you love me? I’m not very loveable.
I’m like a rose.
I may be pretty, smell nice and seem innocent, but I’ve got many hurtful thorns.
I may prick you, but again, I’m very pretty.
I do love you this is true, but I’m no good for you. I'll make one too many mistakes.
You're too good for me. I don't deserve you.
I've got too many thorns. I'll hurt you one too many times.
I'll never get why anybody would care for me. I'll NEVER get why I attract guys.
I'm no good for anybody. I'll only hurt everybody.
So, again I ask, why do you say you love me?Z
Me, the rose
sshh CALM DOWN and DRINK THIS

[Angel Misa]

Tears of pain run down my cheek,wishing I was able to hold the one i seek. Tears from my heart I cry,left out here alone to die. Tears I cry from the soul,wishing my heart was once again whole,tasting the tears,trying to wipe away the fears. Wondering if I will ever be able to hold the one I love,wondering if someone will help me from above. i can't take this anymore, you've won,tears run down my cheek, as I hold this gun.

[Angel Misa]

Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside How can I stay here and live each day a lie?, When all I want to do is close my eyes and die I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed. I plead with you now mum, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place, Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free, It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared, It means the world to me, to know that someone cared.

[Angel Misa]

How heavy fell the rain that day
From burdened clouds of mournful grey.
The torrent forced them stay their height
Composure swayed by onerous might
My skin wrung wet with icy chill
As mud embraced that sodden hill
But mind of mine had elsewhere gone
'Twas clouds abandoned I was on
The driving drops advanced their gears
To camouflage my sneaking tears
Whence now did swell such floods of pain
To see me melt into this rain
On equal bearing now were we
This rain, myself

[Angel Misa]

My ghost…my conscience
I hold you to me, and
Begin to see you clearly
The love that I lost…for I would still hug you dearly
In this forgotten field of dreams,
Clouded… from all to see,
The rain, this loss, it's so painful to see,
Your face, it brings me to tears
Will I ever begin to forgive myself?
With every drop I begin to fall,
Forever to spiral within turmoil,
The shadows still chant my name,
Day after day,
But at night, I still pray,
That I will someday see your face
Happy…smiling, and away from this storm,
These thoughts wrench me away from this dream
Forever and ever, what they mean ?
Whatever…your face…it's still haunting, me…
This pain, the anguish I hold it makes my soul bleed,
As these thoughts they take me away,
To a place I had long forgotten,
A place where I'm always on my knees…
Our heaven,
Our hell,
My home…

[Angel Misa]

You broke my heart in two
And took me like a bet,
with all you put me through
I have so many regrets.


To lose you was worth it,
although I wasn't sure,
it seemed to make me happy,
but still so insecure.


We always said Forever
we would take it to the end
never give it up
but this time my heart couldn't mend.

It cut so deep into me
I guess it hurt you too
but when you did it, then you lied
I had to say "we're through."

I gave you all I had
I tried to make it last
but now all we have
are memories from the past.

So look me in the eye
and tell me what you see
a girl so broke inside
who's been through misery.

And now I'm moving on
with the pain that kills inside
but I'm starting to forget
by reminding myself, how you lied!

I have somebody new
someone to treat me right,
to talk to lovingly
and to hold me all night.

He's there for me when I need him
to give me love and support
to hold me close and wipe away
all my signs of hurt.

To kiss me softly every night
and let me know he's there
to call me just because,
just to tell me that he cares.

Now here I go again
fallen so hard, so deep
but this time it's different,
this is one I want to keep!

[Angel Misa]

Black cats, blue cats
white cats, grey cats
Round and thin, stray cats
Tall and short, they come in all sorts
Pet cats, Wild Cats
Abyssinian and Brown Cats
Bengal or Bobcats
Copper and Curly Cats
Nice cats, bad cats
good cats, Piss cats
Dakota Rex, Don Sphynx
Dragon Li, Desert Lynx
Furry Cats, Bald Cats
Kittens and Small cats

[Angel Misa]

Our kittens

[Angel Misa]

I love food more than humans

[Angel Misa]

Winter is the season when the whole world seems to go to sleep. The weather is cold, the ground is hard, and the trees and plants seem to be dead. Since there is little else to do, it is a time that is conducive to working hard. There isn't much else to do, and the weather else seems to suggest that we must buckle down and do the things that we have been avoiding. This is not a bad thing. It can very satisfying to work hard and be creative. Creativity is part of our makeup. Without a purpose in our lives, depression would quickly set in.
#familyfriendpoems

[Angel Misa]

When I must leave you For a little while- Please do not grieve And shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow to you Through the years,But start out bravely
With a gallant smile; And for my sake And for my name
Live on and do All things the same,Feed not your lonliness On empty days, But fill each waking hour In useful ways,
Reach out your hand In comfort and in cheerAnd I in turn will comfort you And hold you near; And never, never Be afraid to die for I am waiting for you in the sky
HelenSteinerRice#

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